Welcome to the inaugural post of The Tuesday Prude!
One can’t get away with a statement like ‘Welcome to the inaugural post etc etc’ without raising questions from the intelligent reader.
Questions such as:
Q: Why ‘Tuesday’?
A: It sort of rhymes with ‘Prude’. T-ooo-s-day Pr-ooo-de. Hear it? This sort of subtle internal rhyme is called assonance. Many a prude, afflicted with no end of discomfort by the first syllable of ‘assonance’, prefers to call it ‘subtle internal rhyme’.
Q: Just Tuesday?
A: Yes. Prudishness is a dish best served in small doses.
Q: Why ‘Prude’? Didn’t prudes, an endangered species since the 1960’s, become extinct about the time MTV aired Madonna videos?
A: Not quite extinct. Prudes exist! The Tuesday Prude is a clarion call for each one to come out of hiding. Prudes no longer need feign indifference or even approval of amoral entertainment, repulsive language, droopy drawers and misplaced adverbs. Embrace your identity, fellow prudes. The naughty world needs prudes now more than ever. We shall be heard.
Q: How will I know if I hear a Prude’s voice?
A: The true prude will not screech, use obscenities, or whack you with a parcel to get your attention. The true prude will, however, not quit till your attention has been gained. Prudes call this persistence. Prude naysayers call it nagging.
Q: Don’t Prudes tend to be long-winded?
A: Yes. Many words are necessary to promote modesty, virtue, dignity and proper syntax. The Tuesday Prude promises to dole out those words sparingly, over the course of many many weeks.
Q: Doesn’t ‘Prude’ come from the Old French word prude, meaning ‘honorable woman’?
A: This is so. The prude of today must be encouraged to stand (with good posture) in that noble tradition. Let us be proud that we honor order, approve of courtesy, and admire propriety.
We believe it honorable to appreciate moderation in food and drink and even more moderation in displays of affection, decibel levels of music, areas of exposed flesh and references to reproductive acts. Come with me into the morass of mischief we call the 21st century. Let’s make moderation the Next Big Thing.
Q: Can I be a prude too?
A: Please do! The Tuesday Prude is your safe place. Here fellow and potential prudes can unite, be nurtured, and go forth, shoulder to shoulder, to make the world a kinder, cleaner, and more principled place.
Q: Is there more we should know?
A: Yes. Next week, we’ll explore how the Old French Honorable Woman has metamorphosed into The Tuesday Prude.