Prude Stew


Not Prude Stew. For illustrative purposes only.

The past few weeks we’ve spent browsing the Prude Munitions Vault.
You’ve learned to identify your means of defense and your ‘concealed carry’ weapons. All we have left are the Weapons of Mass Prudery.

Please bear in mind that with great prudishness comes great responsibility.
So before we move to reveal the Big Guns, the prude’s version of a nuclear submarine,
we need to establish ground rules. To brandish armaments at the highest level
of prude warfare requires not only training, but understanding the underlying code of honor.

Today, let’s raid the Chivalric Code icebox to make our own Prude Stew.
Please bear in mind that these are actual virtues as listed by an actual Chivalric Knight.
(We here at the Tuesday Prude don’t want you to think we just pull this stuff out of our hat.) You may also note the shocking mix of metaphors in this post but if one figure of speech is good, two can’t help but be better.


Faith, Charity and Justice comprise the broth in which all the other prudish virtues
simmer. Readily available in the distant past, today you may have to hunt for them. WARNING: Don’t be tempted to eliminate any one virtue just because they are rare. Keep looking—Prude Stew is worthless without each one.
Sagacity we wanted— for obvious root-wordish sort of reasons— to be the sage flavoring. But since sagacity is a cool word for good judgment and prudes are all about discernment, let’s call it the potatoes. Not glamorous, but filling. Just be cautious about letting sagacity sit unused in a dark corner for too long. It will sprout useless eyes and start to stink.

This is a 3-meat stew, chock full of the goodness that sets it apart from Hollywood Bisque, Wall Street Chowder, Washington Pottage or Fashion Week Soup.
Our special proteins are found in Prudence, Temperance and Resolution. Each meaty virtue is guaranteed to build strength of character. Prudence, though it tends to be tough and chewy, develops a healthy sense of caution. Temperance might taste bland, but is inexpensive and ensures a well-balanced system of moderation. We don’t need to add much flavorful Resolution. It’s pricier than all the other ingredients and a little goes a long way.

Don’t forget to salt your stew with just the right amount of Truth. Too little and the virtues seem insipid, too much truth just for the sake of truth overpowers everything else. Toss in some colorful carrots of Hope, Diligent celery (you can never have too much) and season with the Liberality of your choice.

Stir it up with Valor and viola!
Prude Stew!
Nourish yourselves on it this week, so when you return next Tuesday you’ll have the strength to dash back to the weapon analogy and flourish your heavy ammunition with skill and flair.

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