Birthday Suit? Or Civil Suit?


Prude-approved Birthday Suit

Here’s a prude pop quiz:

What does the Tuesday Prude consider civilization’s chief threat?
A. The creeping view of clothing as obsolete
B. Escalating use of really, really bad words
C. Decreasing moral standards for behavior
D. All of the above but with one prevailing concern.

Oh, that all quizzes were so obvious!  Of course the answer is
You might ask: what could concern a prude more than the looming possibility of runway models wearing little more than a blingy belt between their pouts and their platform shoes?

While A,B and C, and of course the Birthday Suit trend in fashion all give prudes the shivers, we’re noticing a deeper, more fundamental crack in the bedrock of civilization.
Civility is disappearing.
Civility is becoming as rare, as difficult to find as prudes. So little civility to be found on television, in politics, religion, the workplace, the classroom, in families, among friends and amidst strangers.
So much incivility rushing to fill the void.

Sometimes incivility is disguised with wit or sarcasm, or excused because of strongly held beliefs and passions.
Boorish, discourteous behavior is almost expected in certain realms such as the editorial page and Washington DC, but now it has gurgled up, slobbered out, and mucked over everything else. Incivility is ubiquitous.

The Tuesday Prude would like to carve out a little section of the world that, at its core, is cordial.

Most prudes hold strongly to particular beliefs on religion, politics, education, society, language, nutrition and global stewardship. But this is not the venue to share them all.

We prefer not to mock, deride, satirize or condemn those whose views don’t match ours.
Not that we believe all opinions and ideas have equal validity.
Not because we don’t believe in absolutes.

But because this blog aspires to be one hundred percent courteous, one hundred percent of the time.

You don’t need to agree with everything the Tuesday Prude propounds. But we hope you share our desire for a more civil world.


To slow, tap gently on the prude

Last week you met the Tuesday Prude*. This week let’s explore the crucial role prudes have played in the history of humankind** and how the Tuesday Prude hopes to enhance that function.
Since the dawn of civilization, ‘civilized’ societies have consistently chosen to veer from the straight-and-narrow and instead careen down a greasy highway of deteriorating manners, behavior, dress and…civility. The careening is usually accompanied by flashy externals, raucous grinding, cheap interiors and annoying noises.The only reason every society hasn’t hurtled off the cliff into utter chaos is because somebody remembered to Apply the Prude.

Oh, you thought prudes were just killjoys sprinkled throughout the centuries to wag fingers, frown fiercely and censure conduct? Well, that too, but only because societies refused to use us in the manner for which we were intended: Civilization’s emergency brake.

A well-maintained prude system is needed to stand between human beings and their predilection for heading to Hades in a handbasket. Prudes understand that peoplekind don’t see how jettisoning morals, ethics, courtesy and semicolons will lead to a massive smash-up. Until it is almost too late. At that point they slam on the prudes and the result might be something like the Puritans, the Victorians, Prohibition or the Eisenhower Era, all with much to commend them but also known for their own forms of excess.

And therein lies the rub. As with any braking device, depressing underused prudes with too much force makes bad things happen.  Instead of merely slowing down, civilization may come to a grinding halt, as all the stuff from the back seat comes flying to the front.

Stomp on the worn out prude system and it will squeal. Instead of common sense morals, ethical standards and civility, the result can be censorious superiority and hypercritical hypocrisy.

Society doesn’t understand that at the heart of true prudishness is honor. Honor leads to desire for justice, and freedom and decency. Some of the most well adjusted prudes fought slavery, struggled for independence, demanded equality.

Check your prudes regularly, society, and don’t neglect them. Apply them before you lose control. And come back next week to learn why, if you don’t let us repair you, we’ll just honk louder.

*The Tuesday Prude, while primarily the work of one prude, is more a sort of virtual safe house where prudes can gather, be educated, encouraged, and never worry about ‘adult’ content.

** Disclaimer: what we refer to as ‘history of humankind’ at the Tuesday Prude generally means ‘history of America’ because our knowledge of any other history is abysmal

Welcome to The Tuesday Prude

Welcome to the inaugural post of The Tuesday Prude!

One can’t get away with a statement like ‘Welcome to the inaugural post etc etc’ without raising questions from the intelligent reader.

Questions such as:

Q: Why ‘Tuesday’?

A: It sort of rhymes with ‘Prude’. T-ooo-s-day Pr-ooo-de. Hear it? This sort of subtle internal rhyme is called assonance. Many a prude, afflicted with no end of discomfort by the first syllable of ‘assonance’, prefers to call it ‘subtle internal rhyme’.

Q: Just Tuesday?

A: Yes. Prudishness is a dish best served in small doses.

 Q: Why ‘Prude’? Didn’t prudes, an endangered species since the 1960’s, become extinct about the time MTV aired Madonna videos?

A: Not quite extinct. Prudes exist! The Tuesday Prude is a clarion call for each one to come out of hiding. Prudes no longer need feign indifference or even approval of amoral entertainment, repulsive language, droopy drawers and misplaced adverbs. Embrace your identity, fellow prudes. The naughty world needs prudes now more than ever. We shall be heard.

 Q: How will I know if I hear a Prude’s voice?

A: The true prude will not screech, use obscenities, or whack you with a parcel to get your attention. The true prude will, however, not quit till your attention has been gained. Prudes call this persistence. Prude naysayers call it nagging.

Q: Don’t Prudes tend to be long-winded?

A: Yes. Many words are necessary to promote modesty, virtue, dignity and proper syntax. The Tuesday Prude promises to dole out those words sparingly, over the course of many many weeks.

 Q: Doesn’t ‘Prude’ come from the Old French word prude, meaning ‘honorable woman’?

A: This is so. The prude of today must be encouraged to stand (with good posture) in that noble tradition. Let us be proud that we honor order, approve of courtesy, and admire propriety.

We believe it honorable to appreciate moderation in food and drink and even more moderation in displays of affection, decibel levels of music, areas of exposed flesh and references to reproductive acts. Come with me into the morass of mischief we call the 21st century. Let’s make moderation the Next Big Thing.

Q: Can I be a prude too?

A: Please do! The Tuesday Prude is your safe place. Here fellow and potential prudes can unite, be nurtured, and go forth, shoulder to shoulder, to make the world a kinder, cleaner, and more principled place.

Q: Is there more we should know?

A: Yes. Next week, we’ll explore how the Old French Honorable Woman has metamorphosed into The Tuesday Prude.

Pre-Prude Post

For weeks now I have been twittering (which pre-dates tweeting by several centuries) about how to use my new site here at WordPress. In a previous, simpler blogging life (The Prude Disapproves) the language was simpler, the options fewer and I learned to manage my blog in a matter of days. That was 2010. The Stone Ages.

2013: The Millennium Falcon tripped into lightspeed and dumped me in an era whose language includes words and phrases comprehended by everyone except me.  My infant grandsons are even now adding crucial words like ‘domain’ and ‘widget’ and ‘akismet’ to the vocabulary bank in their brains––a bank that in previous years considered ‘mommy’ ‘daddy’ ‘more’ and ‘yukkies’ sufficient funds for early communication.


The blogging road beckons, and I must follow. Please, if you come with me, understand that I will be falling into potholes, stumbling over boulders and going flat from running over sharp objects on the shoulder. Lord willing, in the very near future, The Prude will be chugging into a Tuesday near you.